Thursday, October 25, 2012

Life these days....

Well finally get a few minutes to sit down and blog. My how life has changed as we knew it this time last year. Most importantly my new miracle, Hayden Matthew was born March 2. My dad was in remission from colon, liver and lung cancer. Today he is in Stage 4 liver cancer with metastasis to his lung, back and hip. This time last year I was feeling relieved and ecstatic that I was about to quit my job and become a stay at home mom and be with my babies. I would be able to have dinner ready every day when my husband got home, laundry would stay caught up and house would stay cleaned. Boy did I have a rude awakening. Now, I taken Blake to school, Emma to preschool and Hayden and I go to take care of my dad till time to pick up kids from school. Don't get me wrong, I love getting to spend so much time with my dad but this was not how it was suppose to be. It is so heart wrenching having to see him in so much pain and nothing you can do to take it away. He is now on Morphine and Percocet and even that combination doesn't seem to work sometimes. The worst is just seeing someone that was so strong and active and spent his life taking care of other people as a paramedic become so weak and having to get by with a walker. He is being followed by Hospice. Blake is 10 and has started 5th grade. He has a WONDERFUL teacher!! He trusts her and that's a difficult thing for him. He is getting straight A's in class. Now if we could get the bullying in P.E. to go away we'd be great. His anxiety has increased which causes his tics to exacerbate, so that's not a fun time for him. Again breaks my heart that I can't just fix it for him. Emma Grace is 3 and has started her first year of preschool. She holds her own. She is the most fearless 3 year old I have ever seen. Hayden is almost 8 months. Crawling, pulling up, says mama, dada and baba. Getting so big so quick! And one of my best friends has spent years dealing with fertility problems and it hurts my heart because I would move heaven an earth to give her a baby. NO ONE deserves it more than she does. She's one of the most caring, encouraging people I have ever met and has always been there for anyone.

So what a year this has been. I'm strong in my faith and I'm not giving in or giving up. I will continue to pray and intercede to God on behalf of my family and friends and continue to believe health will be restored, miracles will happen. It gets hard knowing everything will happen in His time and not ours. He does know what's best for us.

Ok, enough of my rant. Hoping I can start keeping this blog back up to date again now that things are settling down.

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